When I first found out I was going to be a parent, I imagined all the sweet, peaceful moments: cuddling my newborn, watching them sleep, feeling that overwhelming love. And then reality hit.

What if I mess up? What if I’m not good enough? What if I’m just… not cut out for this?

If your brain has been spinning in a similar way, I want you to know: you’re not alone. Parenting anxiety is incredibly common—especially before the baby even arrives. (Trust me, I’m deep in the trenches of it myself.)

Here’s what I’ve been learning as I prepare to step into this totally new, completely intimidating role.

1. Parenting Anxiety Happens to Almost Everyone

One of the first things that helped me breathe easier was being reminded that it’s normal for new parents to experience anxiety. And not just normal, but healthy (in moderation).

It’s not just “first-time parent jitters.” It’s a natural, even biological, response to the massive responsibility we’re about to take on.

What I’ve learned:

Our brains literally rewire during the transition to parenthood (wild, right?)
Anxiety can be a sign that you care deeply about doing a good job
Feeling nervous doesn’t mean you’re going to fail—it means you’re already invested

2. The “Perfect Parent” Doesn’t Exist

I keep catching myself thinking, “I have to get everything right.””

But here’s the thing: no parent gets it 100% right. Not ever. Not once.

What’s helping me prepare:

Following realistic, compassionate parenting voices instead of “highlight reel” social media
Reminding myself that “good enough” parenting is actually what builds resilience in kids
Practicing forgiving myself—even before I technically “mess up”

3. Learning Helps with anxiety (But You Don’t Have to Know Everything)

If you’re like me, maybe you’re also knee-deep in articles, videos, and various parenting tips from friends and family. (“How to swaddle,” “baby sleep schedules,” “car seat safety,” you name it.)

Learning is amazing—but it can also get overwhelming.

What I’m trying to remember:

It’s impossible to know everything ahead of time
Babies are incredibly adaptable, and so are parents
I can learn “on the job”

In fact, some things I’ll only figure out once the baby is actually here. And that’s not a failure—it’s normal.

4. It’s Okay to Ask for Help caring for your little one

One thing I’m working hard on—even before the baby arrives—is accepting that I’ll need help.

Things I’m planning:

Talking to family and friends now about ways they can support
Researching local parent support groups and online communities
Making a “who to call” list for when I feel overwhelmed

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s actually one of the strongest, smartest things a new parent can do.

(Additional Read: First Time Parent Survival Guide)

5. Anxiety Won’t Steal the Joy (Even If It Feels Big Now)

Right now, the fears can feel huge.

But the love, the magic, the incredible tiny moments—they’re still going to be there. Bigger, louder, and more powerful than the worry.

What I’m holding onto:

Fear and joy can exist at the same time
Every parent has scary moments, but also beautiful ones
My baby won’t need a “perfect” parent—just a present, loving one

One thing I’ve learned in therapy over the years is that positive anxiety and negative anxiety can feel the same in the body/mind. So reminding myself that excitement for being a parent can feel the same as “I gotta run from this threat” even though they are completely different.

Final Thoughts (From One Anxious Parent-to-Be to Another)

If you’re feeling anxious about becoming a parent, you are so normal.

You’re already showing up. You’re already thinking about what’s best for your baby. That makes you an amazing parent—right now, even before the first diaper is changed.

We’re learning and growing into this together.

You’ve got this. And on the days you don’t feel like you do? That’s okay too.

(Deep breath. We’re doing it.)

Coming next on The Anxious Parent:
How to Swaddle a Baby and Why? Stay tuned!

How to Cope with Parenting Anxiety Before Your Baby Arrives